“Project: Metalbeast”

project-metalbeast-dvdPerhaps the biggest problem with “Project: Metalbeast” is that there is no earthly way any movie could live up to that title. If the filmmakers could have titled the movie with an airbrushed Boris Vallejo painting of a metallic werewolf, I feel like they would have. The title is a screaming electric guitar solo with full pyrotechnic accompaniment, and it ranks among the all-time-great, one-of-a-kind B-movie titles like “Hell Comes to Frogtown” or “Surf Nazis Must Die.” If the majority of movie titles serve as a polite introduction to the audience, “Project: Metalbeast” is a high-five from a complete stranger doing a backflip on an ATV over your head. Continue reading

“MegaForce”

91NVafOegTL._SL1500_Above the Army, Air Force, Navy and Marines is an elite military force charged with defending global freedom against terrorist threats from a secret headquarters. Equipped with the most advanced technology available, these colorful commandos hurl themselves headlong into the breach with a devil-may-care attitude. Any child of the 1980s should be able to guess that I’m talking about G.I. Joe, “America’s daring, highly trained special missions unit.” A much, much smaller segment of my generation, however, might eventually get around to guessing that I was talking about MegaForce – after they guessed G.I. Joe, the Bionic Six, the Centurions, M.A.S.K., Chuck Norris’ Karate Kommadoes and the Defenders of the Earth.

In just about every way, 1982’s MegaForce seems to contain all the same elements as G.I. Joe, but in live action and splashed across the big screen. Why, then, is G.I. Joe still fondly remembered by those of us with arrested development but MegaForce lives on only in a few scattered YouTube links? Why did the formula that worked so well in one instance fail so miserably in another? Why is there no special edition blu-ray of MegaForce from Shout Factory? The answer is that MegaForce manages the incredible feat of making the idea of an elite paramilitary strike force with sci-fi weapons as dull as bowling on TV.

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